You’d be surprised how many people do not include a return address when sending sympathy flowers. This could be for many reasons and no one is at fault. However, including an address with sympathy flowers has many benefits. The next time you send flowers to express condolences, ask your local florist to include an address where you can be reached in the future. Here’s why:

• “That will make it seem like I want to be thanked.” Not really. It’s a very courteous gesture that will not be perceived as polite and prudent In fact, it’s somewhat expected.
• Once the family has had a few days to grieve, most tend to send “thank you” cards to those who have expressed their sympathies. Whether or not this seems necessary to the sender, it is polite to include an address just in case.
• In lieu of “thank  you” cards, many people try to contact the sender by phone or in person. Though they probably have this information, including an address and perhaps phone number will make it easier for the recipient to contact you after the services have ended. If your address is included with the sympathy flowers, the recipient will not have to go far to find your information whether he or she has it or not.

This kind of simple convenience goes a long way to someone who has just lost someone that they love. It’s a hassle to do even the slightest chores. Even though things have usually settled by the time this type of contact is made, it is still easier to have things laid out nice and neat in front of them.

If you are a florist, remember to ask for an address where the sender can be reached. This is not a must-have as far as sending sympathy flowers goes, of course. However, there will be far fewer troublesome phone calls after the service. Many who do not receive word that the flowers were received like to call the florist to verify delivery. Some call the recipient. Making sure to include an address with the enclosure card is one way to avoid this hassle for everyone.

Ok, maybe “cool” is not the word but it’s definitely interesting.

I was reading the blog of Belvedere Flowers, a florist in Havertown Pennsylvania, when I discovered their clever tip for creating an arrangement of funeral flowers using calla lilies and Bells of Ireland. I never really figured calla lilies for sympathy flowers. I always saw calla lilies as a wedding flower or great for Easter and altar flower arrangements.

However, after seeing this grandiose sympathy arrangement from Belvedere Flowers, I’m inspired by the calming appeal of these flowers. They are so peaceful and beautiful. The light green Bells of Ireland just added to the placid nature of the arrangement. It doesn’t overwhelm the senses with bold color. These aren’t forceful flowers which announce their beauty to the world. These are very subtle, gentle and beautiful flowers which, when put together by Belvedere Flowers, are a very respectful showing of condolence.

You may also enjoy viewing this arrangement and reading more of the Belvedere Flowers Blog.

Funeral services are taking on a very different tone these days while the desire for funeral flowers remains constant. Funeral services today, though not always religious in nature, reflect the long-held traditions of many religious memorial services that celebrate the life of the deceased moreso than mourn a passing.

The family of my sister’s boyfriend recently celebrated ten years in the funeral home industry. My sister’s boyfriend Josh and I stumbled across a recent Ramblin’ Jan blog article that outlined some of the recent changes that help to personalize a loved one’s funeral service—a practice that is gaining popularity largely due to its help in expediting the healing process. Josh confirmed the personalization of funeral services and less rigid practices of mourning.

Josh was also able to offer very valuable news, that is, that funeral flowers are still in high demand and used in a wide variety of ways during the funeral service. According to Ramblin’ Jan, funeral flowers were used to decorate a Steinway and Sons piano during the non-traditional funeral for a concert pianist. Though personalized memorials are becoming the practice of the future, a traditional funeral service still requires traditional memorial gifts, i.e. funeral flowers. Sympathy baskets, casket sprays, funeral arrangements and more will long remain accepted and respectable choices for sympathy gifts or adorning funeral parlors.

Local funeral home directors and florists will be able to guide you in selecting an appropriate sympathy arrangement for the funeral service of a friend or loved one. Whether a traditional funeral service or a personalized memorial service, contact your local florist for information about which funeral flowers or arrangements are appropriate.

Back in December, Central Square News (the Central Square Florist blog) addressed the issue of “In Lieu of Flowers” concerning funeral flowers. It seems the question concerning the appropriateness of sending sympathy flowers surfaces over and over again. The 2003 Flower Shop Network newsletter – In Lieu of Flowers addressed the importance of flowers in the bereavement process. In fact, there have been many studies that prove the importance of flowers during times of emotional stress. But, I realized that the reason this question comes up, time and time again, is that people are uncomfortable with funerals and don’t want to make any mistake when it comes to showing their sympathy and support.

Understanding some of the terminology used in obituaries can help elevate some of the questions people have concerning funerals and what is appropriate. As Central Square Florist explains the term “in lieu of flowers” gives you the option of sending a donation instead of flowers – it is acceptable to give both, flowers and a donation. This phrase, however, does not state that the family does not want flowers. If flowers are not wanted at the service, the term “please omit” will be used.

Flowers are one of the most thought ways to express your sympathy, but ordering funeral flowers can be a frightening experience for some. Not all families deal with funerals the same way. When I was growing up, my parents didn’t believe that children should be exposed to funerals. As a result, I was unprepared the first time I needed to send flowers to a funeral. I was in college and a friend was killed in a car accident. I remember calling the local florist shop; I rambled on about needing flowers, not knowing what was appropriate or what information the florist needed; luckily the florist was very patient – walking me through all the steps and making suggestions. It would have been helpful to have some kind of guide.

As always, Flower Shop Network tries to give it’s reader pertained information about anything concerning flowers. In fact, the FSN Funeral Flower Etiquette newsletter discusses everything from the types of funeral flowers to the appropriateness of sympathy flowers based on culture. Although the newsletter is very helpful, I found that InLieuOfFlowers.info had a couple of really neat tribute guides. The Tribute Preference by State lists five types of floral sympathy categories (baskets - sprays - arrangements - wreaths, hearts & crosses - green and blooming plants) and then lists the categories in order of frequencies for each state. The Tribute Guide by Relationship lists the type of floral piece and which is appropriate to send by relationship.

So although “In Lieu of Flowers” is an option when you need to convey your sympathy remember it doesn’t mean no flowers. Flowers truly touch the heart and give comfort, so don’t be afraid to send flowers. If you are unsure of what kind of funeral flowers to send,

Talk to a local florist, read the FSN newsletters or check out the sympathy guides at InLieuOfFlower.info. If you have funeral flower questions, I’m always here to answer them. Remember, the funeral flowers you send will give convey a message of comfort and support in a difficult and emotional time.