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Are Memorial Flowers Appropriate For This Occasion?

Question: My grandfather passed away six months ago and his and grandmothers wedding anniversary is coming up.  He always sent flowers to her on her anniversary.  Would it be proper for me to send her flowers on their anniversary date?

Brynn’s Response: First, my condolences on the loss of your grandfather. It is very sweet of you to want to comfort your grandmother in this way. She is very lucky to have such caring people in her life.

Flower etiquette for this occasion is a bit of a gray area. The deciding factor is the personality of the recipient. Sending anniversary flowers after your grandfather’s passing is a reminder of your grandfather and the many sweet times that he sent flowers. If your grandmother would be comforted by this, by all means send flowers. If this would be a bittersweet or sad memory, do not.

Most women and even many men would be comforted by receiving flowers in remembrance of a loved one. Memorial flowers are often sent with cards that explain the reason for the flowers and a brief message of encouragement. Some examples are:

  • Just thought you could use a little extra sunshine today.
  • May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared comfort you now and in the days ahead.
  • It will be the little things that you will remember: the quiet moments, the smiles, and the laughter.
  • May the care of friends bring you comfort and loving memories heal your heart.
  • Praying for friends to comfort you, faith to uphold you, and loving memories to help you smile again.

“In memory of” is another popular phrase that helps the recipient understand the reason for the flowers. More personal messages can also be offered. Just remember to say to your grandmother what you would say to her if you were with her in person. Would you hug her and tell her that you wanted her to remember something nice that grandpa did? These are the kinds of things that should be on the card.

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